i used to have this picture hanging on my bedroom wall
(or one similar to it. i got it out of "Biography" magazine in 2003 or 2004)
see how hippy she was? she looked like a "normal" healthy person.
she always looked healthy & had my body & that's why i liked her.
even when she got thinner i was still a fan. she was cute & funny & all that jazz.
the fact that she got so thin most likely becos people said she was fat kinda breaks me heart cos i know how that feels.
even when i was skinny i was still considered over weight. & her death just really bothers me cos it hits close to home.
if i chose a different path i could have developed an eating disorder very easily. or addicted to diet pills or whatever-- i am very lucky i never really did...i had my diets here & there & an obsession with exercise when i was 19 but i was never frail & unhealthy. it's just so sad.
i do need to lose some weight tho...i've gained 5 lbs this month...it's either cos i have water weight from pms or i'm PREGNANT. i hope i'm NOT....i told jamie last night that i was late but he still wanted to have sex! geeeez.... i won't worry too much about it until next week tho...when i'm really late...i've been like a week & a half late before. for various reasons. i dunno. i just know that i don't want babies right now (or maybe ever) cos i still need to accomplish a few things first. there's also the fear of getting really fat. but that's the least of my worries & reasons for not wanting that...it's at the bottom of that list. i need AT LEAST 2 more years before i ever consider THINKING about having kids....me & jamie need to get more settled & more stable...& i have a few goals in mind that would be hindered if i were pregnant. it would not ruin my life or anything....i'm just NOT READY.
- Mood:
contemplative
- Mood:
amused
i forgot to post the xmas card joseph sent from jail! :)
& here's a video of joaquin opening some of his xmas gifts :)
& here's a video of joaquin opening some of his xmas gifts :)
- Mood: amused
well Xmas is over & it was FUN! we opened gifts,ate lotsa food & played uno! good times! & i mostly gave my family stuff that they needed! it may have been a little small & slightly lame but it was still good! :)
& now jamie & i gotta get our bills paid today!!!!
we hafta go back to union city today & take my mom to the store & pay jamie's dad back! we borrowed $ earlier this month to pay some late bills! so we can get that back to him today. & then we'll be all caught up! hooray!
then vern is supposed to come over & get tattooed. & some other kid jamie knows. he also ran into some dude at speedway yesterday that wants a tattoo. ( & wants jamie to do it cos david fucking sucks) he's also supposed to do afew tattoos tomorrow if teh people show up...he's still busy busy busy!
ok here's few pics from yesterday...
( ......more pics....... )
& now jamie & i gotta get our bills paid today!!!!
we hafta go back to union city today & take my mom to the store & pay jamie's dad back! we borrowed $ earlier this month to pay some late bills! so we can get that back to him today. & then we'll be all caught up! hooray!
then vern is supposed to come over & get tattooed. & some other kid jamie knows. he also ran into some dude at speedway yesterday that wants a tattoo. ( & wants jamie to do it cos david fucking sucks) he's also supposed to do afew tattoos tomorrow if teh people show up...he's still busy busy busy!
ok here's few pics from yesterday...
( ......more pics....... )
- Mood:
content
i'm not even sure why i celebrate xmas...
so yeah it's xmas & i'm already thinking of resolutions for the new year. & i'm sure i'll think of more later but here is my list for now:
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS/REVOLUTIONS.
1.LOSE MORE WEIGHT
i lost 20 lbs this year. i'd like to lose 15-20 more.
2. GO TO SCHOOL
cos i think about doing this every year. so i need to do it already
3. LEARN TO PLAY GUITAR INSTEAD OF JUST SAYING I'M GOING TO
i've been saying this for half of my life. literally! i was 15 when i had this big revelation that i was gonna get a guitar for xmas & learn to play it. i never got one until my husband bought me one. that was 3 years ago. any time he says he'll teach me i avoid it! cos i don't think i have the patience for it!
4. DRIVE
cos currently i do not.
5.DO A FEW ZINES
i did not do ONE zine this year. i wanna get back to it. especially the zines i promised to do with people! if you wanna do a zine or other project with me GET AT ME! it's the only thing that keeps me going: mrsnoggle@yahoo.com
6.BE MORE INDEPENDENT
i used to do all kindsa things by myself! what the hell happened! marriage isn't supposed to = co-dependency!
so i will start doing more things for myself. i guess i would if we still lived in town, it's just that i'm out in the country by myself & jamie goes out more that i do these days!!!
that's all for now! more to come....
P. S. FINGERS CROSSED FOR NO BABIES FOR ME I NEED AT LEAST 2 MORE YEARS.....
- Mood:
hopeful
interview with my husband....
& here's my gifts for my family. aren't they pathetic looking?!
i suck at wrapping gifts...i'm just glad i have some gifts to give!
& here's my gifts for my family. aren't they pathetic looking?!
i suck at wrapping gifts...i'm just glad i have some gifts to give!
- Mood: amused
here's my tongue...
- Mood:
silly
i got my last minute gift shopping done right in the nick of time!! now i'm gonna wrap my gifts & eat my dinner with my hubby, snuggle up & watch "a christmas story" & relax. then i gotta get up early tomorrow to cook that huge turkey & get ready for some FAMILY TIME!!! jamie's grandparents at 1 pm. & my family at 3 or 4!!! GOOD TIMES! mERRY xMAS!!
- Mood:
loved
bored- Mood:
awake
wash dishesdon't forget to EAT somethingmake/edit/upload videosdo a zine reading video??buy oven bag/pan to cook turkey!!!last minute xmas shoppingwrap gifts!watch "A Christmas Story" on tbs :)
- Mood:
determined
i was most concerned about that but slightly bummed i wasn't gonna be able to get any xmas gifts..they'll just be late gifts. we gave joseph $25 last week so that was his xmas! so i'm only gonna spend $25 on everyone else....
jamie ordered a zine by GG Allin & that's his xmas from me...he said he wants it "for the same reason you watch those serial killer biographies"...ummm, ok.
& i ordered the James Dean box set & A Julie Brown movie from Amazon so that's my xmas gift from him! it's been a weird year...so it's ok that we ended up ordering our own gifts for ourselves! i just feel lucky to have a roof over my head...with the way things are in the world--things could be A LOT worse. some people don't even have money for food so i am VERY thankful for what i have...there are more important things than xmas gifts right now. i'll take food & shelter over material things any day! jamie is working from 9 am until like 5 today! (he's working 9 to 5 like dolly pardon!)
anyway--here's my xmas gifts--yay!
- Mood:
relieved
jamie & i have been a little careless this month! we don't plan to have kids anytime soon if AT ALL!
it wouldn't ruin my life or anything...i'd just be really unprepared & it's not something i want right now. i'd wanna be more settled & stable. i don't want to bring a baby into this world with the way things are right now! ugh...
plus i am very selfish (at least i admit it!) i still want the freedom that jamie & i have right now. we can do whatever we want whenever we wanna do it. plus i'm finally starting to get to a weight where i am comfortable with myself. i still feel young & wanna look good (see how selfish i am??!!) & i don't wanna be a "MILF" !!! there are too many things i wanna do before i become a mother --if i ever do. the fact that i still dunno IF i want kids or not is proof i am not ready & may never be. 1 of my cousins is pregnant & 1 just had a baby & anyone else would be all excited about it..."aww! a baby!" not me! i actually don't really like babies!!! i used to love them but right now...not so much. i'm sure i'd be a lousy mother at this point in my life so please keep yer fingers crossed for me! NO BABIES FOR ME!!!!
- Mood:
worried
it sucks that i hafta be on unemployment but i am happy to know that if i get a grant for school it won't effect my benefits cos we really need the money--especially if we end up moving again like we want to in a few months. & with no job i will have all the time in the world for school & can dedicate as much time to that as i need. now all i gotta do is study the RIGHT thing & find the right CAREER for me so i hope i don't screw that up...but no pressure,right?
welp, jamie is home & we need to make dinner--i'm starving! that's all for now! buh bye!
PS !!! jamie's mom bought us a Kroger Xmas Dinner!!! so we are taking that to my mom's house on xmas! it's a huge box of food with a huge turkey! i'm really excited about that too! you know how much i love food! i'm hoping my $1000 check goes into the bank tonight so that i can do some last minute xmas shopping in the middle of the night. no time tomorrow cos jamie is working from 8am- until who knows when! it's his last day at UPS! xmas is his only day off this week cos he's doing 2-3 tattoos this weekend! busy busy busy!!!!
- Mood:
cheerful
i've never heard of this movie...but this so fucked up!
cos she died laying in a bath tub....CRAZY.
cos she died laying in a bath tub....CRAZY.
Emergency Recall on Brittany Murphy Posters
A DVD rental company is moving fast to remove outdoor promotional posters of Brittany Murphy -- posed lifeless in a bathtub -- for her movie, "Deadline."
Officials from redbox -- which operates DVD kiosks around the country -- tell TMZ beginning today field teams are removing the "Deadline" box art from the kiosk displays. The officials tell us it will take 7 - 10 days to remove the image from the 19,000 kiosks nationwide.
We're also told the "Deadline" distribution company will change out the DVD covers.
- Mood:
shocked
laundrymake cds for ordersput orders/packages togetherwrite to Heather Goody Two Shoes!- buy last minute xmas gifts if that damn money goes into the bank!
it made me sad. becos Brittany Murphy is "the dead girl" now. i think i'm becoming a little fixated & obsessed with her & what happened to her. i can't get it outta my head. not only becos it was outta the blue & thru me for a loop cos it was so shocking & unexpected--but becos she was 32 & i'm gonna be 32. that's scary. cos she was so young. way too young to have a heart attack. everyone is comparing her death to karen carpenter's & TMZ pointed out that Karen was also 32 when she died. whether anorexia played a part in it or not why was she taking so many pills? why so many depression & anxiety pills?
here's what was on TMZ.com:
According to the notes, the medications included Topamax (anti-seizure meds also to prevent migraines), Methylprednisolone (anti-inflammatory), Fluoxetine (depression med), Klonopin (anxiety med), Carbamazepine (treats Diabetic symptoms and is also a bipolar med), Ativan (anxiety med), Vicoprofen (pain reliever), Propranolol (hypertension, used to prevent heart attacks), Biaxin (antibiotic), Hydrocodone (pain med) and miscellaneous vitamins.
that's INSANE! but that really scares me...no matter who you are you can DIE if you take the wrong thing...or mix medications.
& it's so weird cos people USED to tell me i looked like her. anytime there's a question like that on a lame myspace survey like "what celebrity do people say you look like?" or "who would play you in a movie about yer life?" i always answered "Brittany Murphy" & as recent as a few weeks ago i was thinking "if i could just lose some weight i could still look like her. but i don't wanna starve myself to be thin like her." & i figured i should just be happy that i'm still kinda cute like Monica Lewinsky! it doesn't matter if people tell me i'm "hot" or "pretty" or that i look like Gwen Stefani or Brittany Murphy..i'm too old & chubby now & it doesn't matter. all that matters is that i am happy & healthy. & her death just makes me wanna take better care of myself... & that's it.
- Mood:
anxious
mrsnoggle
- watching "peggy sue got married".i kinda wanna watch "the dead girl " again...even tho i just saw it last week. but it's on "On Demand"...
- http://www.tmz.com/tmzlive/?mediaKey=6ab
7d536-0096-482c-889b-14fb04f27054&isShar eURL=true - i just applied for financial aid. wish me luck :)
- i need to catch up on my mail today. i have a few letters to write & a package to put together....
- it's even harder to get unemployment than it is to find a job in Ohio...damn.
- that music is burned into my brain....
- finally got thru & it took a few minutes!i waited nearly 2 hours for something to be taken care of in 2 minutes!!! the lady was nice tho :)
- FML! after being on hold for an hour my signal faded & i got disconnected! that's what i get for complaining...now i get to start all over!
- i'm starting to think that they don't really "appreciate my patience" OR think that my call is "very important" to them!!!
- 57 minutes...still on hold...
- being on hold is like being tortured! i have been on hold for 40 minutes....& counting... AHHHHHHH *rips hair out*
- WTF?!?!?! BRITTANY MURPHY DIED????!!! Check out: http://bit.ly/8JjRoT from @HarveyLevinTMZ
To:
♥ Egg Noggle ♥
12:30 PM 
~CARRIE~
~CARRIE~ GIRL I THOUGHT THAT DEFAULT PIC WAS U AT FIRST.. U LOOK JUST LIKE BRITTANY MURPHY IN THT PIC. LOL
- Mood: happy
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